Dear Dorothea

Dear Dorothea,

I cannot believe that you are gone. I feel so much pain, emptiness and sadness. I even couldn’t say goodbye to you.

I remember your smile, your kindness, your harmony and your great lessons. You were an amazing teacher, a great musician, a real artist, a guide, a friend. You revealed to me and to so many others all the secrets of the recorder and you showed us a fantastic world of music, elegance and good taste. Your lessons were poetic, wonderful and inspiring. They were lessons about music as well as lessons about life.

What is it about death that is so horrible? Death is loneliness, death is emptiness. Death is coldness and solitude. Unamuno said: “Porque los hombres vivimos juntos, pero cada uno se muere solo y la muerte es la suprema soledad.” (La agonía del cristianismo). [“Because men live together, but each of us dies alone and death is the supreme solitude.”, The Agony of Christianity]. In death, the art and music of life are gone. I close my eyes and imagine you silent, cold and alone.

What is left, for us, after your death, Dorothea? Our memories, the beautiful moments each of us had with you, the music you taught us, the love you gave us, the sparkling positive attitude that you always irradiated and the memory of your beautiful smile, your wise words, your humanity and your tenderness. But it’s not enough. I want to hear your voice. I want to hug you and know that you are happy and well.

In 2 weeks you would have celebrated your 63th birthday. It is so painful for me to know that I will not be able to write you, call you or see you anymore. You gave me so much and I can’t accept that you are gone. I can’t listen to beautiful recorder music without crying. I will always keep you in my heart. I love you and I miss you.

Antonia Tejeda Barros, Madrid, November 15, 2012.

About Antonia Tejeda Barros

Music, art, philosophy & thoughts /// Música, arte, filosofía & pensamientos.
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5 Responses to Dear Dorothea

  1. Mary says:

    Yesterday I was just googling her name because lately she was on my mind a lot. I was one of her students over 20 years ago and I had a wonderful time with her. She was amazing, did everything she could to help me become a better recorder-player, a better artist, we had such wonderful conversations not only about music, but also about life which can be so complicated when you are in your early twenties. I’ve sat at her table in the Hague many hours talking with her, drinking lapsang souchong. She taught me so much more than “just” playing the recorder, she was not only my teacher, she was my friend. It is so sad that she has passed away and I feel so sorry for the ones she leaves behind. Thank you for writing these wonderful words about her and posting her pictures.

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    • Dear Mary,
      thank you very much for your beautiful words. I am happy that you met Dorothea and that you had the pleasure of being her student. She was an incredible teacher, and amazing person and a true artist. I miss her a lot.
      Greetings from Madrid,
      Antonia

      Like

  2. sash says:

    oof thats a very sad news antonia,i didn’t know dorothea died so sad to hear that.
    she was indeed a very special unique and surprisingly normal in its good sence of the word, person .
    she was the coolest teacher and a super fan of you and because of that of rubato that was amazing she would come to all our shity concerts in the klosterkerk it would give me lots of encouragement to continue playing the music we are making,
    her memory will stay with all the people who knew her ,
    she had a doughter isnt it?
    the other day i was thinking about our kids who are the only thing that makes us imortal,
    big kiss
    Sasha

    Like

  3. McYang says:

    A very touching post.
    Thank you so much.

    Like

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